mistercellaneous

i generally like almost everyone i work with. i just have an ever-updating list of minor pet peeves. i know, blogging about pet peeves? surely, that never gets old.

why don’t you cry about it, saddlebags?

seeing how it’s possible that someone i work with could stumble across this widely-popular blog, i won’t name names or be overly descriptive. i think i mentioned before how a co-worker who sits adjacent to me, gnoshes on his lunch so loudly that i can actually describe the consistency of what he’s eating without turning around to see it. think of a horse eating an apple.

now enter new guy. we’ll call him fred. fred’s desk is a good distance away from mine. but fred is a writer of sorts, and most writers get your typical dusty old dell equipped with a hard drive that could race a dead turtle. so in light of this fact, that writers get crappy computers, we have this area called the pit, where we have a few newer, more muscular dells where section editors can paginate their pages much quicker. the pit is much, much closer to me than fred’s desk. fred is a relatively new employee and probably isn’t all too familiar with our programs and whatever else. so fred spends more time in the pit than the typical person. here enlies my peeve. the pit is behind me, upon doing a little head turn, i’d say about roughly eight feet away. he’s there now. fred lets out these long, loud sighs. like deep breathing, only much more audible. it probably seems like i’m a nit-picker, but i actually find it quite annoying. if you have to constantly sigh, due to some strange medical condition, i can deal, but fred is fine.

dude, are you having a problem breathing? if so, let me know, so i can find someone who might care.

are you just sighing out of frustration? that couldn’t be either. he can’t possibly be that frustrated, that often.

is he looking at something naughty? nah, not where he’s sitting. hopefully it’s not me.

what’s the deal fred? people can sigh inwardly you know, i do it all the damn time. like right here, right now. i think he just did it again. that bastard. keep your sighs to your self! or to put a twist on a classic seinfeld line “you can stuff your sighs in a sack mister!” … what does that mean?