mistercellaneous

what is it with me and pictures of guys squatting? seriously, emmit, wtf were you thinking? oh, and you’re horrible before, during and after monday night football.

i strongly dislike dancing with the stars. to me, it’s just one of those shows you hate. were you expecting some sort of reason or rationale at the end of that sentence? nope, not here. straight belligerent rant, that’s what you’re gettting. that show just sucks. i catch the occasional 5 minute snippet of the show here and there. my parents like the show, my girlfriend’s parents like the show, you get the idea. my problem is, i’m not the least bit interested in dancing, b-list celebrities and dancing b-list celebrities. i don’t care if you can teach a b-list celebrity to samba. i too, could learn how to samba with hours of professional dance instruction. and probably you too. i hate the judges, i hate the hosts, i hate most of the contestants, i hate the concept and i hate the unbridled enthusiasm* that everybody uses on the show. everybody is always so damn keyed up with chests heaving, smiles ear to ear and hugging each other. then the judges make some extremely general comment and they either slink off like naughty puppies or bounce around like happy little … puppies, i guess? seriously, how long do these “celebrities” get to practice their little dance routine each week? fuck, anyway, i’ve rambled on about dancing with the stars for so long, i’ve forgotten what made me write this post to begin with. look out! it’s dance wars!

a) who named this piece of crap? dance wars? seriously? “dance-off”, “let’s dance” or “battledance” must have been taken

b) because dancing with the stars does well in the ratings we now need a spinoff show with an even weaker concept? easy answer, definitely. and you thought “joey” was retarded.

c) what form of celebrity is going to do this show?

d) this sucks

it made me slightly happy to know that dancing with the stars won’t be on for another couple of months, what with its pompous hour and a half, two-times a week timeslot. not that it will make way for anything else that i would be eager to watch on abc, i just like when these types of shows i.e. american idol run their course and are finally over for a short period. it’s cathartic. that’s how i see it.

so you can imagine my displeasure when i found out that dance wars will be starting sometime in january, according to this sick bastard (seriously, someone had to create that). so, there’s a month to a month and a half of layoff between “dancing with” and “dance wars.” those clever … just enough time to make people start to miss dancing with the stars but not enough time for people to lose interest in the concept. and definitely not enough time in between both lame shows for me to enjoy. i need a bigger grace period damnit. as if it isn’t bad enough already, television creates some of these pseudo-celebrities through reality shows and the like, then recycles them onto other shows thus compiling their status. before you know it, people like oma-fucking-rosa are household names. they do so many reality specials and spinoffs and you’re left thinking “omarosa, what did that bitch do to get famous again? oh, that’s right, well, why is she on this show?” damn, this reality show crap is getting out of hand.

*i’ve created a tag called seinfeld sneaks, because i find myself randomly using terms and language used in seinfeld. i don’t know i’m doing it until i stop and think “unbridled enthusiasm?” i’ve never used that before, where did i hear it? ah, the seinfeld episode where jerry gets fleas from newman and elaine loses her manuscript about billy mumfrey (?) which kramer reads and tells her it was written about a time of “unbridled enthusiasm” or something.